Today is mother's day.
Sent Mom Purple Iris and Yellow Lilly's...gifts from one mother to another..
It's chilly here in Maine this a.m.
Slow soaking rain last night.
Ma Ma Earth all moist and lovely, glistening in filtered light.
I holding spade and shovel;
Dig,
Weed,
And prune my way into her belly.
The smell of musky dewed earth scent of spring on my fingers.
The song of birds
honoring my garden prattle with song..
as I rake.
as I love.
as I hoe.
as I play with her...
Thanking her the way I can. (with attention)
Sweet Earth.
Sweet Gaia.
Your gifts so many.
Happy Mothers Day.
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Saturday, May 8, 2010
New Angel
Why am I angry about my friend who suffered for 16 or 17 months with tumors growing in his brain dying yesterday?
He is released.
And his loving partner, who cared for him, and who has been tempered and honed through this daunting and overwhelming experience in unimaginable ways, is also released. Why is anger the overwhelming emotion here?
I am angry at the thought of them not having more time together.
I am angry for myself at the realization of all the time I have wasted in un-loving.
I am angry at spirit for taking the good ones.
I am angry that I will have to grieve and experience loss yet once again…
I feel cracked open. This is grace.
For me grief is the hardest emotion.
Can do anger.
Can do sadness.
Can do joy.
Can do happy.
Can do grateful...
I defend against grief. My belief is there is so much to grieve these days.
And if I truly felt and experienced all we do that insights loss and add personal loss to the mix, i.e. the loss of relationships changing, friends, family and pets dying…well I’d melt away into…. Something.
My hope is I can grieve well so the mistakes I have made by avoiding or holding my grief at bay, will not be reconstituted into the world.
It is my experience shock can shake us into new awareness.
If we are lucky enough not to defend against the current, the wave of awe or awe-full, opportunity awaits.
Covered places become available.
We have a moment to arrange differently.
The face that was hidden behind the behind of learned response or favored emotion emerges thru the shadow.
The gift of essential honesty becomes available, feeling like compressed light thru a pinhole.
The filtering emotion lies down like a sword placed at a battle not worth fighting...
Now, choice beyond belief, can be seen.
I sit with this.
Today I welcome a new angel into the world.
I dreamt of my friend, who dyed yesterday, last night.
His face was on a large poster for the world to see.
In the large photograph his eyes shown.
And I heard him whisper... tell M. I'm Ok and I love her.
In the end isn't that what we all want to know...
That we're OK and that we love, are loved, and have loved...
He is released.
And his loving partner, who cared for him, and who has been tempered and honed through this daunting and overwhelming experience in unimaginable ways, is also released. Why is anger the overwhelming emotion here?
I am angry at the thought of them not having more time together.
I am angry for myself at the realization of all the time I have wasted in un-loving.
I am angry at spirit for taking the good ones.
I am angry that I will have to grieve and experience loss yet once again…
I feel cracked open. This is grace.
For me grief is the hardest emotion.
Can do anger.
Can do sadness.
Can do joy.
Can do happy.
Can do grateful...
I defend against grief. My belief is there is so much to grieve these days.
And if I truly felt and experienced all we do that insights loss and add personal loss to the mix, i.e. the loss of relationships changing, friends, family and pets dying…well I’d melt away into…. Something.
My hope is I can grieve well so the mistakes I have made by avoiding or holding my grief at bay, will not be reconstituted into the world.
It is my experience shock can shake us into new awareness.
If we are lucky enough not to defend against the current, the wave of awe or awe-full, opportunity awaits.
Covered places become available.
We have a moment to arrange differently.
The face that was hidden behind the behind of learned response or favored emotion emerges thru the shadow.
The gift of essential honesty becomes available, feeling like compressed light thru a pinhole.
The filtering emotion lies down like a sword placed at a battle not worth fighting...
Now, choice beyond belief, can be seen.
I sit with this.
Today I welcome a new angel into the world.
I dreamt of my friend, who dyed yesterday, last night.
His face was on a large poster for the world to see.
In the large photograph his eyes shown.
And I heard him whisper... tell M. I'm Ok and I love her.
In the end isn't that what we all want to know...
That we're OK and that we love, are loved, and have loved...
Friday, May 7, 2010
Angel's Incarnating/Friends departing...
There is this breath,
This place in between and moving toward dream
This sigh Before creation.
I have had the privilege of visiting two friends in Hospice this week.
I had the honor of observing their labored rhythmic to un-rhythmic open mouthed breathing.
I remember watching babies sleep in much the same way.
I am struck by the similarity of the comings and goings of breath.
Spirit incarnating into the body and spirit leaving the body born from the same beat.
The word for spirit and breath in Hebrew is Ruach.
I also think Ruach is used to describe wind.
The sound of breathing and the cadance of breathing is so primal. When my children were first born and many days after, I would lay awake holding space for their paper thin spirits fully embodying their small forms. I would know when something was not quite right by listening to their breating...
It is the same with my friends' families who sit listening and watching breath.
Each new rhythm is the harbinger of a new stage of release...
I am sitting in vigil with breath once again as I hold my dying friends' hands.
I am in wonderment at the tenacity, the fragileness the beauty the gift we have been given, this life. I am in awe of the life fire their breaths have fanned...
How can we treat each other in ways that are unthinkable knowing our time is so short amongst the beauty of trees.
I could go on and on...and I won't this a.m.
This place in between and moving toward dream
This sigh Before creation.
I have had the privilege of visiting two friends in Hospice this week.
I had the honor of observing their labored rhythmic to un-rhythmic open mouthed breathing.
I remember watching babies sleep in much the same way.
I am struck by the similarity of the comings and goings of breath.
Spirit incarnating into the body and spirit leaving the body born from the same beat.
The word for spirit and breath in Hebrew is Ruach.
I also think Ruach is used to describe wind.
The sound of breathing and the cadance of breathing is so primal. When my children were first born and many days after, I would lay awake holding space for their paper thin spirits fully embodying their small forms. I would know when something was not quite right by listening to their breating...
It is the same with my friends' families who sit listening and watching breath.
Each new rhythm is the harbinger of a new stage of release...
I am sitting in vigil with breath once again as I hold my dying friends' hands.
I am in wonderment at the tenacity, the fragileness the beauty the gift we have been given, this life. I am in awe of the life fire their breaths have fanned...
How can we treat each other in ways that are unthinkable knowing our time is so short amongst the beauty of trees.
I could go on and on...and I won't this a.m.
Sunday, May 2, 2010
Angel Tree'ed
Today I begin placing angels on grid titled 'Tree'...May 2nd
I am in slight procrastination mode, it's Spring here in Maine. I can't remember a lusher or sweeter one. Energetically I am bursting like the buds that play their seductive music around me... I am having trouble containing all this energy. I channel these elated bursts in the melody of bike rides and intoxicating walks and encounters with friends... what better way to step into creating within an image of the tree of life than to be dancing in life within the domain of earth music. My goal for today is have grid and angels meet. May the design placed on these angel-backs fly well...may this grid be a prayer and thank you to the beauty and gifts of life. Why we spend so much time working against what is 'good' in and surrounding us is intriguing. Today I honor the exquisite magic in a drop of rain or the power and message carried in a wild wind or the questions the coming of peas bring in the garden or the grace touched with a gentle hand. It is in this undefinable place of open heart, I choose to stand while placing angel to paper and paint to pattern.
I am in slight procrastination mode, it's Spring here in Maine. I can't remember a lusher or sweeter one. Energetically I am bursting like the buds that play their seductive music around me... I am having trouble containing all this energy. I channel these elated bursts in the melody of bike rides and intoxicating walks and encounters with friends... what better way to step into creating within an image of the tree of life than to be dancing in life within the domain of earth music. My goal for today is have grid and angels meet. May the design placed on these angel-backs fly well...may this grid be a prayer and thank you to the beauty and gifts of life. Why we spend so much time working against what is 'good' in and surrounding us is intriguing. Today I honor the exquisite magic in a drop of rain or the power and message carried in a wild wind or the questions the coming of peas bring in the garden or the grace touched with a gentle hand. It is in this undefinable place of open heart, I choose to stand while placing angel to paper and paint to pattern.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Angeldom
The first flight of angels is complete. This is a miracle!!
My sister and I will be hanging all the angels this weekend.
My sister and I have not worked on project together since we were small. Perhaps the angels have called her to come and help. She works as a producer for a well known artist in NYC. She has a high pressured job, and yet she has chosen to come to Maine and help me. My sister understands how to bring a project to closure.
Today I will be cutting 108 pieces of wood for mounting the angels on the wall and figuring out which wall the flight will rest on. Once the 'Flight of Compassion' is installed, I'll have more of an understanding of the mission of these winged ones. Will the angels be released separately or will they remain as part of the community they were created in? Stay tuned.....
'You've been Angeled'.
what is your's to do?
My sister and I will be hanging all the angels this weekend.
My sister and I have not worked on project together since we were small. Perhaps the angels have called her to come and help. She works as a producer for a well known artist in NYC. She has a high pressured job, and yet she has chosen to come to Maine and help me. My sister understands how to bring a project to closure.
Today I will be cutting 108 pieces of wood for mounting the angels on the wall and figuring out which wall the flight will rest on. Once the 'Flight of Compassion' is installed, I'll have more of an understanding of the mission of these winged ones. Will the angels be released separately or will they remain as part of the community they were created in? Stay tuned.....
'You've been Angeled'.
what is your's to do?
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Angel Pod
Full moon soon. Tonight was glorious. Went out to dinner with friends. We shared a bottle of delicious red wine, good food and good conversation. I've been caving for too long,(it is winter) and coming out into the open was lovely.
We spoke of the giving group. The idea: a pod of people comeing together to discuss giving a donation of $5 each a month. The group will choose the charity for the month and then donate the whole amount to the chosen cause. Simple. The whole idea is to begin a charitable gifting group. My hope is we will choose to gift locally. Coming together and doing more than what can be done alone has always interested me. The motivation for this group is to become an independent cohesive unit of giving, and to practice active compassion. That's it. How it manifests or grows is up to the group.
The moon waxes and now I begin to wane... satiated and satisfied by the day, the wine and the food, sleep creeps in. Filled with gratitude for those presently in my life, I begin to drift into the land of dreams. My heart aches for those around me in my community or the world who are not in ease. And as sleep nears a prayer is whispered, may those who are hurting find their way. May those who suffer find comfort. May those in misery be held.
The mystery of life is daunting.
We spoke of the giving group. The idea: a pod of people comeing together to discuss giving a donation of $5 each a month. The group will choose the charity for the month and then donate the whole amount to the chosen cause. Simple. The whole idea is to begin a charitable gifting group. My hope is we will choose to gift locally. Coming together and doing more than what can be done alone has always interested me. The motivation for this group is to become an independent cohesive unit of giving, and to practice active compassion. That's it. How it manifests or grows is up to the group.
The moon waxes and now I begin to wane... satiated and satisfied by the day, the wine and the food, sleep creeps in. Filled with gratitude for those presently in my life, I begin to drift into the land of dreams. My heart aches for those around me in my community or the world who are not in ease. And as sleep nears a prayer is whispered, may those who are hurting find their way. May those who suffer find comfort. May those in misery be held.
The mystery of life is daunting.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Angel Relief
Angel Relief
Disasters provide an opportunity for us to remember our oneness. We remember the heart of who we are. Something cracks inside us and for a moment, and we are one family. Brothers and sisters in need, we see each other and we hear the screams of help and we touch. The world has become so small. Technology affords us a way to see, hear, sense and we reach out. We want to touch because we have to. This is our nature. We help our tribe, we become one village, focused, and engaged with a song of unity in our hearts.
I have been moved by the out-pouring of love in the form of $ and resource that we Americans and the world can bestow on another country when needed. My heart ached when I saw the devastation the Earth Quake caused in Haiti. Charity’s and organizations like candy were there for the picking and I like many gave scattering my donation as seeds amongst three charities that I resonated with. I had a delightful time choosing. I was astounded by how many organizations have ‘helping’ as their mission. There also were so many corporations who stepped up and helped. Impressive to say the least!
I have also been touched by the power of mother earth and what she is capable of once again.
Perhaps in her own way she was sending a message. This may be her wake up call to us.
Yep, Mama is still in charge.
The world becomes smaller and smaller. With a flick of a finger we can organize millions of people. Those with electronic know how can install systems in a flash that allow aid workers, countries and people to come together via a phone. We can reach a loved one thru a database.
We organize airports and donate planes. Bulldozers and other rescue and medical equipment are flown in within hours. The amount of people with skills to help within a minutes is remarkable!
It took Mama Earth to shake us up. For the truth is Haiti has been crying a long time. The great conundrum is though economically pour, her soul is rich beyond measure. The art and music coming from Haiti is vibrant!
I like to look at the big picture. I can’t help it. It’s my nature. Crisis sharpens us. I guess my question is: Why can’t we find the sharpness we have in crises, when problem solving around issues that are dogging us here at home? (‘Affordable HealthCare For All’ for instance.) Over the past few years we have learned, we know how to solve problems. We’re good at it. I see, like myself, we have a kind of attention deficit disorder. We tend to loose our focus. We are great the moment the alarm is sounded. We feel alive. Threats are a daily treat or ‘Tweet’. My other question is: What happens in Haiti a year form now? We still haven’t finished cleaning up after Katrina. We know how to deliver aid effectively within minutes. Haiti once again reminded us how good we are at this. Millions of dollars are found at a moments notice! Amazing. Many of us like to help. How can we channel this energy more effectively at home? We know we can find money. (Saving banks has shown us this…) Red Alert America, children are hungry, and people are dying because they cannot afford to seek medical attention!! Alarm. Alarm. Our schools need funding…. !!! Perhaps if we keep the threat out of airports and in our cities and towns we could shine like the stars we are! A simple thought.
Disasters provide an opportunity for us to remember our oneness. We remember the heart of who we are. Something cracks inside us and for a moment, and we are one family. Brothers and sisters in need, we see each other and we hear the screams of help and we touch. The world has become so small. Technology affords us a way to see, hear, sense and we reach out. We want to touch because we have to. This is our nature. We help our tribe, we become one village, focused, and engaged with a song of unity in our hearts.
I have been moved by the out-pouring of love in the form of $ and resource that we Americans and the world can bestow on another country when needed. My heart ached when I saw the devastation the Earth Quake caused in Haiti. Charity’s and organizations like candy were there for the picking and I like many gave scattering my donation as seeds amongst three charities that I resonated with. I had a delightful time choosing. I was astounded by how many organizations have ‘helping’ as their mission. There also were so many corporations who stepped up and helped. Impressive to say the least!
I have also been touched by the power of mother earth and what she is capable of once again.
Perhaps in her own way she was sending a message. This may be her wake up call to us.
Yep, Mama is still in charge.
The world becomes smaller and smaller. With a flick of a finger we can organize millions of people. Those with electronic know how can install systems in a flash that allow aid workers, countries and people to come together via a phone. We can reach a loved one thru a database.
We organize airports and donate planes. Bulldozers and other rescue and medical equipment are flown in within hours. The amount of people with skills to help within a minutes is remarkable!
It took Mama Earth to shake us up. For the truth is Haiti has been crying a long time. The great conundrum is though economically pour, her soul is rich beyond measure. The art and music coming from Haiti is vibrant!
I like to look at the big picture. I can’t help it. It’s my nature. Crisis sharpens us. I guess my question is: Why can’t we find the sharpness we have in crises, when problem solving around issues that are dogging us here at home? (‘Affordable HealthCare For All’ for instance.) Over the past few years we have learned, we know how to solve problems. We’re good at it. I see, like myself, we have a kind of attention deficit disorder. We tend to loose our focus. We are great the moment the alarm is sounded. We feel alive. Threats are a daily treat or ‘Tweet’. My other question is: What happens in Haiti a year form now? We still haven’t finished cleaning up after Katrina. We know how to deliver aid effectively within minutes. Haiti once again reminded us how good we are at this. Millions of dollars are found at a moments notice! Amazing. Many of us like to help. How can we channel this energy more effectively at home? We know we can find money. (Saving banks has shown us this…) Red Alert America, children are hungry, and people are dying because they cannot afford to seek medical attention!! Alarm. Alarm. Our schools need funding…. !!! Perhaps if we keep the threat out of airports and in our cities and towns we could shine like the stars we are! A simple thought.
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