Hi Angels,

It's blogging Friday and I'm still in Texas.  The weather's been awesome. My Mom grows stronger and will be able to sail her life-ship single handily soon.

Yesterday when the physical therapist visited Mom he spoke during the session with her about his 16 yr. old son.  Between working with Mom with exercises that will help her regain and strengthen balance, he shared his concern about his son. His son was very upset by the news of the co-pilot whom deliberately flew the plane he was in command of into the mountains, killing himself, and all on board.  This is a brutal unthinkable act.  Processing an act such as this, in the wake of shock and tangled emotions is even hard for adults. The 16 year old said to his father, "Dad people are so mean."   The father was taken aback by the statement and wondered out loud, "Are we creating a mean world or a sick world?" 

Personally I think meanness breeds sickness. 
And personally I feel simple answers will not work toward understanding an act such as this.

My daughter calls me from the airport tonight apprehensive about flying.  She loves to travel and yet does not like to fly.  I'm right with her.  I find flying challenging. And I too will be boarding a plane on Saturday, flying back to Maine.

It is not my intent to write about fear of flying today.  Today I'm wondering about the world we are co-creating together in the reflection of that teenagers observation and statement: "People are so mean."  A world where my mother matter of fact-ly answers, "People are mean." My mother, a survivor, whose family escaped from Nazi Germany knows people can be mean.

We are mean to each other and ourselves. We all know this. 

I keep turning to the Dali Lama's words, "Be a little kinder to each other."
I hold his words in my heart as a talisman and protection against the meanness in myself.
I clasp them as a mantra, so my heart will not harden.
I hold the truths of non violence Gandhi practiced as aspiration. 
I believe under the light of kindness some of the ills of the world would be soothed. 
Or is this a fairy tale?  Has the world psyche simply gotten too far out of hand?  And are we too ill to see that we are living unwell?

Is simply 'being kind' enough in today's complex entwined world?  As the weave and patterning of terror becomes more apart of our daily lives and the strata of world inequities becomes more apparent are acts of kindness enough?  How do we explain to our children that sick people sometimes do sick things for no apparent reason.  The unpredictability of life in and of itself  can be terrifying. And sometimes wild cruel acts are in-sighted by social, economic, or political agendas. And sometimes horrible acts are instigated by illness and are terrifying and incomprehensible. And sometimes the most simplistic understanding is framed as 'mean'.

It hurts me when our children have to ask why is the world so mean? Our children observe that they are not safe on planes, or in schools, or on the streets.  Is this the best we can do? Acts of sickness/illness in society are both reflected and indicative of what we are creating. 
Will we wake up?

I just returned from a conference on peace several weeks ago.  I was heartened by so many folks in the world working toward peaceful change.  And this is where I choose to focus.

I have a friend who through her own bout with mental illness is in the process of creating a forum for others with mental illness so awareness and healing can take place.  I know a young man who has just made a beautiful film about living more sustainably in the world.  I have friends who volunteer in many places bringing their gifts and compassion to those who are under-served.  I know teachers bringing critical thinking into their class room lessons and passing on tools to students so they will have broader understandings when navigating this complicated world.  I know kids who plant their own gardens and are raised in families who understand that the earth is sustainable as long as we are in alignment with earth's laws.  I know a man who adopted three kids whose parents died of aids when he was 20 years old. He supports and cares for these kids and has made sure they have received a good education.  So yes people have the capacity for 'being mean' and for also being kind.

I don't always understand or comprehend the motivations of such crazy acts as killing yourself and plane full of people on purpose.  Sometimes these acts are so terrifying and outcomes so 'mean' and raw that they anger and frighten me too.  I want to shake everything and yell 'STOP!'
The collective wake of grief and pain these acts create is experienced by us all.  I can't even imagine the shock, the anger and the grief the parents of those exchange students aboard that deliberately crashed plane yesterday are experiencing today or the loved ones of others who perished on this flight are feeling.

I would explain to that 16 year old that yes we human beings have a wide capacity.  And I feel it is my job to weave a kinder place, every day, no matter how hard it is.  And that it is my job to find kindness inside myself so I can bring that kindness to others.  No matter how difficult that is.  I would tell him that the world may be 'mean' and it is my job to reach through the meanness as best I can and find some good.  I would be honest and share that these crazy acts scare me too.

I would emphasize that each small act of kindness changes our own hearts and therefore matters.  And that there are silent cries for help that are unheard or ignored daily that can grow into unthinkable actions if left untended.   And if I harden myself against the world, that I too become 'mean'.  I would be honest and say I don't always like or understand these seemingly insane acts or the cruelty caused by them.  And I don't know if we will evolve to a place where violence is no longer an attractive way of gaining attention or problem solving. 

Yet together one by one we each can and do make a difference each day. 
I would tell him I believe in kindness and that kindness matters.

Have a sweet weekend all.
And angel well out there.