Today it rains
It's been a beautiful summer.
The last breaths whisper.
My house, this summer, has held us well.
Why am I writing about the house?
Because the beat of old peeling trim paint being scraped is present, or a new roof may be needed, or that the pipes have been cleaned this summer which means the drains no longer clog? Or that perhaps, I am thinking about an energy audit...
Honestly, I don't know.
This summer has been the summer of the house, my house, and all she has held.
Ana my eldest and Serena my youngest have both been home.
For Ana the house has held her in love. And Adam and Ana have spooned here, partied here, fished here, kayaked here, danced here, and even worked here.
Serena has returned from Argentina. And she has had 'circle party fires' here, friends from 'away' here, the first 'my mother is away party here'...cooked here, and even her birthday bash here!
My house is officially bi-lingual. Spanish is spoken here now almost as much as English. Ana worked for Americore from here with the Latino population. (the kitchen table became her sometime office). Serena 'i-ams' and 'chats' with friends in Spanish more than English.
The land where the house sits holds two gardens, crows, and wood-peckers. So many tomatoes grow in the gardens, and when you walk in today, the smells of homemade tomato sauce greet you. I have cooked a lot here this summer. My new favorite dish is 'summer squash in EVERYTHING'!
And for me the house has held feeders that have allowed me to watch hummingbirds sip each morning. I usually hear them before I see them. The sound upon waking; a muffled brigade of helicopters. My sleep fogged eyes observe them from bed. Yes I am lucky enough to live in a place where my summer alarm clock is the sound of humming birds wings beating.
The house has brought me sweet encounters this summer.
Old friends have weeded in the garden and tamed tomatoes with me. I have painted here and healed here.
A wedding (not my own) was celebrated here. We danced and partied!
This house has heart... angels are birthed here, tears are honored here, love is found here, friends congregate here, people work here, nature abounds here, prayers are held here, even conflicts are resolved here, and many find comfort here.
My house is more than a roof, she holds us well.
When you visit you will know the love of this house...
Monday, August 23, 2010
Friday, May 28, 2010
Angel Cycles..
Oh so much to write about.
The day is glorious. The wind and temperture just right. Feeling stable on my 20 mile loop and this is good! It's wonderful moving toward fitness again.
For the record I love Hurican Road in Falmouth Maine. I find the mix of hills to open vistas breath taking... and the road is placed just right, with in the mix of riding that has gone before. I think I will be adding another road that will take me deeper into Falmouth. However, Hurrican Rd. will remain on my route. My private goal is to establish a base of 30 miles at least 4 times a week. I can do this time wise, if I'm on the road by 5:30 a.m.
I don't have my personal fueling down yet. I don't do well on just sugars. Fruit or otherwise...protein and fat have to be in the mix.
And this is not what I really want to talk about.
I love to ride my bike.
Is this silly?
I love being on road in the stillness of morning, being with my breath and all the morning sounds, colors, and smells
... then there is the shadow..
Sometimes I forget where I am, and anxiety rises up.
I'm distracted,
pulled away by so many thoughts. My focus...lost.
FINALLY I HEAR: Yield to the Present!
And, thankfully, attention shifts. My senses now in command.
Heart and mind are pulled back into the viseral. Is my heart beating too hard?
How is the air caressing my skin this morning? Am I over or under dressed?
The cadence of my peddle stroke, can I even it out?
The smell of French Lilacs and Balsam and Pine.
Fresh laid manure on fields.
The light dancing off dewed grasses.
Oh, and look horses! and..
(Did you know we have a place to board cats in Falmouth Maine!)
Yes I pull myself away from self indulgence into
Fueled freedom of being on a bike,
Alberto said to me during a special walk we took through the desert in New Mexico:
Eva your bike is your Power Animal...
My Bike is my magician. My bike is a Merlin!
The rhythm of wheels grazing pavement charms me.
And my ears are hyper-tuned.
I know by the sound of my bike when something is not right!
Sound alerts me:
as I watch out for pot holes and
listen for cars that come too close
Cycling allows me to begin my day with magic and motion.
So simple.
The day is glorious. The wind and temperture just right. Feeling stable on my 20 mile loop and this is good! It's wonderful moving toward fitness again.
For the record I love Hurican Road in Falmouth Maine. I find the mix of hills to open vistas breath taking... and the road is placed just right, with in the mix of riding that has gone before. I think I will be adding another road that will take me deeper into Falmouth. However, Hurrican Rd. will remain on my route. My private goal is to establish a base of 30 miles at least 4 times a week. I can do this time wise, if I'm on the road by 5:30 a.m.
I don't have my personal fueling down yet. I don't do well on just sugars. Fruit or otherwise...protein and fat have to be in the mix.
And this is not what I really want to talk about.
I love to ride my bike.
Is this silly?
I love being on road in the stillness of morning, being with my breath and all the morning sounds, colors, and smells
... then there is the shadow..
Sometimes I forget where I am, and anxiety rises up.
I'm distracted,
pulled away by so many thoughts. My focus...lost.
FINALLY I HEAR: Yield to the Present!
And, thankfully, attention shifts. My senses now in command.
Heart and mind are pulled back into the viseral. Is my heart beating too hard?
How is the air caressing my skin this morning? Am I over or under dressed?
The cadence of my peddle stroke, can I even it out?
The smell of French Lilacs and Balsam and Pine.
Fresh laid manure on fields.
The light dancing off dewed grasses.
Oh, and look horses! and..
(Did you know we have a place to board cats in Falmouth Maine!)
Yes I pull myself away from self indulgence into
Fueled freedom of being on a bike,
Alberto said to me during a special walk we took through the desert in New Mexico:
Eva your bike is your Power Animal...
My Bike is my magician. My bike is a Merlin!
The rhythm of wheels grazing pavement charms me.
And my ears are hyper-tuned.
I know by the sound of my bike when something is not right!
Sound alerts me:
as I watch out for pot holes and
listen for cars that come too close
Cycling allows me to begin my day with magic and motion.
So simple.
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Angel daughter
Yesterday my daughter arrived.
Full of zest fun and warmth.
The kid is gorgeous.
Where did she come from this tall, dark skinned beauty.
An old friend is with her. I pick them both up at the bus station.
We come home and cook dinner together. I am glad to have them here and to listen to there stories and watch them cuddle like puppies. They whisper and talk in short hand, the language of two.
He has lived in Kenya for the past three years with a women from Chicago, who moved there with him. They live in a remote village that takes many hours of travel by bus and ferry to reach. He fishes and works very hard providing food and shelter for himself and his partner, and for three children who live with them who have been orphaned by aids. He provides funds for schooling these children as well. He speaks of the many hours he works. He has built his own house, survived a poisonous snake bite sweating in the sun, and is building a center around aids education and awareness. Many boys come to Adam's house after school. They feel safe and welcome. Adam is 23 years old.
Ana loves Adam. They have been friends and grown together for so many years.
We talk of the sadness in Adam's eyes and our concern for him.
His eyes are milky. Looks like soul loss to me. I wonder about his heart.
Ana talks about loving him enough in the two months they are together in Maine, so he can remember his love. She says Mom, "Adam is a lover. This is what he does best. This is who he is. The women he lives with in Africa is wounded and does not love him well."
My daughter has learned to love to love. She does not love to possess or require undo commitment. I can learn from her. She is fearless in this regard.
She is 22 and alive.
Full of zest fun and warmth.
The kid is gorgeous.
Where did she come from this tall, dark skinned beauty.
An old friend is with her. I pick them both up at the bus station.
We come home and cook dinner together. I am glad to have them here and to listen to there stories and watch them cuddle like puppies. They whisper and talk in short hand, the language of two.
He has lived in Kenya for the past three years with a women from Chicago, who moved there with him. They live in a remote village that takes many hours of travel by bus and ferry to reach. He fishes and works very hard providing food and shelter for himself and his partner, and for three children who live with them who have been orphaned by aids. He provides funds for schooling these children as well. He speaks of the many hours he works. He has built his own house, survived a poisonous snake bite sweating in the sun, and is building a center around aids education and awareness. Many boys come to Adam's house after school. They feel safe and welcome. Adam is 23 years old.
Ana loves Adam. They have been friends and grown together for so many years.
We talk of the sadness in Adam's eyes and our concern for him.
His eyes are milky. Looks like soul loss to me. I wonder about his heart.
Ana talks about loving him enough in the two months they are together in Maine, so he can remember his love. She says Mom, "Adam is a lover. This is what he does best. This is who he is. The women he lives with in Africa is wounded and does not love him well."
My daughter has learned to love to love. She does not love to possess or require undo commitment. I can learn from her. She is fearless in this regard.
She is 22 and alive.
Moon Mirror/ Angel reflection:
Have you ever noticed how water can magnify emotions?
The Moon pulls our waters.
In the time of this May full Moon, I am pulled into her face.
Not all full moons are alike.
This Maine Spring has been extraordinarily beautiful.
I have been outside more sooner. I think this is contributing to my heightened physical and emotional awareness. I can feel the moon pulling my waters. I am also in the midst of a daily spiritual practice centered on prayer and the coming and going of the tides. I live on a tidal cove. The cove is in cahoots with the moon, transmitting moonlight everywhere.
Last night I had entire leg cramps. Yes I had cycled 21 miles yesterday, and then sat the rest of the day in council with others. The cramps were like none I had experienced before. I was hydrated. I think my legs are being asked to carry me further on many fronts, and they are expanding and contracting with their new job description.
In Peruvian Shamanism we are taught to build relationships of power.
We are asked to develop engagements of substance, which are transpersonal.
With prayerful permission storehouses of earths’ collective repositories are approached. i.e. rivers, mountains, wind, rain, lightening. Each element holds information. We sit and wait for lessons to emerge. The energy of the lessons is than woven into our luminous fields allowing access to navigate within the personal differently.
This May moon I am dancing is reflecting me.
I am a bit off balance. In yoga today, poses associated with balance were difficult. I notice I am still sourcing from old relationships stored within myself. In essence I am still cultivating old gardens. Those who loved me planted many seeds. I notice I have adopted some of this old growth as my own. This is OK as long as I understand I do not have to harvest the fruits and flowers in the same way. I have choice! For instance when I am feeling jealous, I don’t have to feed the lack of worth, there hidden underneath the jealousy or allow jealousy to freeze me in my tracks. In this moon’s light I fertilize the gaining strength and wisdom of my becoming, by welcoming all reflections!
I am growing older, and my body is changing. My mirrored face reflects back to me with lined features and different skin. Two blue eyes of a blooming crone appear, and peak back at me.
I find irony here; I am now called to embrace the beloved. Isn’t this folly and play for youth? I hid from possible ecstasy. My maiden self could have called lovers in with ease. I had no idea how to play the games or hold my self in relationship without loosing my essence. I knew passion with lovers that chose me, yet the ecstasy of deep sexual union through spiritual beauty eluded me. Perhaps I wasn’t ready. Now at a budding crone’s age, I explore the archetype of lover. I am the Dragon in Chinese astrology. Dragons ripen in their latter years.
Today I breathe fire!
Sometimes I am saddened by my once upon a time remembered careful choices. I now embrace the twinkle of risk and strength and brutal truth aging brings.
I delight in every healthy minute. The hormonal driven drama lessens and the stance of stubborn riotousness has become boring. I call clarity and vulnerability and grace as my companions. I explore the edges of my changing physicality; pushing and encouraging myself not to stiffen, to instead stretch and release.
I soften and I deepen.
Every day a gift.
My mortality becomes more present.
I dance the path of the beloved.
I soften into my center. I am present.
I am pulled in and spit out by the moon.
And stand reflected and remembered by her light.
Have you ever noticed how water can magnify emotions?
The Moon pulls our waters.
In the time of this May full Moon, I am pulled into her face.
Not all full moons are alike.
This Maine Spring has been extraordinarily beautiful.
I have been outside more sooner. I think this is contributing to my heightened physical and emotional awareness. I can feel the moon pulling my waters. I am also in the midst of a daily spiritual practice centered on prayer and the coming and going of the tides. I live on a tidal cove. The cove is in cahoots with the moon, transmitting moonlight everywhere.
Last night I had entire leg cramps. Yes I had cycled 21 miles yesterday, and then sat the rest of the day in council with others. The cramps were like none I had experienced before. I was hydrated. I think my legs are being asked to carry me further on many fronts, and they are expanding and contracting with their new job description.
In Peruvian Shamanism we are taught to build relationships of power.
We are asked to develop engagements of substance, which are transpersonal.
With prayerful permission storehouses of earths’ collective repositories are approached. i.e. rivers, mountains, wind, rain, lightening. Each element holds information. We sit and wait for lessons to emerge. The energy of the lessons is than woven into our luminous fields allowing access to navigate within the personal differently.
This May moon I am dancing is reflecting me.
I am a bit off balance. In yoga today, poses associated with balance were difficult. I notice I am still sourcing from old relationships stored within myself. In essence I am still cultivating old gardens. Those who loved me planted many seeds. I notice I have adopted some of this old growth as my own. This is OK as long as I understand I do not have to harvest the fruits and flowers in the same way. I have choice! For instance when I am feeling jealous, I don’t have to feed the lack of worth, there hidden underneath the jealousy or allow jealousy to freeze me in my tracks. In this moon’s light I fertilize the gaining strength and wisdom of my becoming, by welcoming all reflections!
I am growing older, and my body is changing. My mirrored face reflects back to me with lined features and different skin. Two blue eyes of a blooming crone appear, and peak back at me.
I find irony here; I am now called to embrace the beloved. Isn’t this folly and play for youth? I hid from possible ecstasy. My maiden self could have called lovers in with ease. I had no idea how to play the games or hold my self in relationship without loosing my essence. I knew passion with lovers that chose me, yet the ecstasy of deep sexual union through spiritual beauty eluded me. Perhaps I wasn’t ready. Now at a budding crone’s age, I explore the archetype of lover. I am the Dragon in Chinese astrology. Dragons ripen in their latter years.
Today I breathe fire!
Sometimes I am saddened by my once upon a time remembered careful choices. I now embrace the twinkle of risk and strength and brutal truth aging brings.
I delight in every healthy minute. The hormonal driven drama lessens and the stance of stubborn riotousness has become boring. I call clarity and vulnerability and grace as my companions. I explore the edges of my changing physicality; pushing and encouraging myself not to stiffen, to instead stretch and release.
I soften and I deepen.
Every day a gift.
My mortality becomes more present.
I dance the path of the beloved.
I soften into my center. I am present.
I am pulled in and spit out by the moon.
And stand reflected and remembered by her light.
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Angeling Again
The Tree Grid has been patiently waiting for me.
I fell off the painting wagon for a few weeks.
I was distracted:
Distracted by the sun.
Distracted by the garden.
Distracted by physical pleasures: loving, biking, hiking, yoga.
(hey that's what spring is about)
Distracted by house guests.
Today I jump feet first into the fire of creation once again.
I have begun to equate making art with being lonely.
In this life time, I have spent hours and hours in the studio alone.
(This is what we artists do!)
I guess, Spring called my heart.
I was bit by the tumble me in the hay Spring Bug and
Got the fever..
No repelant for this one, (who would want one!)
Now the garden is in.
The Love Bite is healing.
House Guests have left.
Daughters will arrive.
More house guests are coming.
My house soon will be hopping!
And I will complain I don't have enough space or time to do my work..
A fine line between lonely and alone.
and justifying working or not...
I fell off the painting wagon for a few weeks.
I was distracted:
Distracted by the sun.
Distracted by the garden.
Distracted by physical pleasures: loving, biking, hiking, yoga.
(hey that's what spring is about)
Distracted by house guests.
Today I jump feet first into the fire of creation once again.
I have begun to equate making art with being lonely.
In this life time, I have spent hours and hours in the studio alone.
(This is what we artists do!)
I guess, Spring called my heart.
I was bit by the tumble me in the hay Spring Bug and
Got the fever..
No repelant for this one, (who would want one!)
Now the garden is in.
The Love Bite is healing.
House Guests have left.
Daughters will arrive.
More house guests are coming.
My house soon will be hopping!
And I will complain I don't have enough space or time to do my work..
A fine line between lonely and alone.
and justifying working or not...
Monday, May 24, 2010
Angel Grief (again)
I met with the Center for Grieving Children today. Paul Golding and Susan Giambalvo are lovely caring folks. The Centers mission is simple: to provide loving support to grieving children, teens, families and the community through peer support, outreach, and education.
The Angels may be hosted by the center as a fund raising event. My dream to weave art into community and having these angels help fuel good causes throughout Maine and perhaps the world is beginning to come to fruition.
When I toured the center I almost burst into tears. I was touched by the work many people are doing to help others as they traverse the terrain of loss. I was touched by the possibility of working with this caring organization. Weaving the gifts I carry has been a dream. Allowing my art and energy work to blend together in service of community, has been a goal of mine. The grief I still carry in my own heart was also touched. I never look at what is being given as an accident. I wonder what children inside myself may still be grieving…
I have written before about grief. Grief has many faces and has it’s own time. After grief has run it’s course, it does not mean we go back to being who we were before the a loss. We do put ourselves back together and we are different. I find on my journey with grief, I don’t replace the loss, more it becomes part of the fabric I become as a new reorganized whole.
I have lost time by holding back grief. I sometimes grieve this lost time. I have lost those I loved. Through divorce, I have lost the dream of a relationship with my children’s father into the next stages of life. I have lost pets. I have lost my father. I have lost relatives. Early on I lost friends who died of aids in there 20’s. I have lost myself in relationships. I have lost my children who are now almost grown. I find myself today in a fertile place of regrouping. There are no short cuts. It is a journey. It is a remembering. It is a re-weaving. It is organizing into a new story. Not always straight.
Still, in times when I am in the midst of experiencing sadness and loss, I find I am not ‘broken’. Overwhelmed, yet not broken. I am feeling all of it:
Hurt, loss, regret, hopelessness, loneliness, anger, and frustration. Some how I know I will make it through. I guess age has something to do with this knowledge. The experience of being with loss, does not necessarily ease the pain, but is helpful. I have howled with hurt, like a wolf crying for a slain mate. I know the depth of that pain.
My trip to the Center has inspired me. May the angels inspire others on their journey. I am ready to devote a good portion of my life toward the creation of wholeness through this project. I guess I have found a mission and this feels very good! Curious where the road will lead and if I will have the courage to follow…
The Angels may be hosted by the center as a fund raising event. My dream to weave art into community and having these angels help fuel good causes throughout Maine and perhaps the world is beginning to come to fruition.
When I toured the center I almost burst into tears. I was touched by the work many people are doing to help others as they traverse the terrain of loss. I was touched by the possibility of working with this caring organization. Weaving the gifts I carry has been a dream. Allowing my art and energy work to blend together in service of community, has been a goal of mine. The grief I still carry in my own heart was also touched. I never look at what is being given as an accident. I wonder what children inside myself may still be grieving…
I have written before about grief. Grief has many faces and has it’s own time. After grief has run it’s course, it does not mean we go back to being who we were before the a loss. We do put ourselves back together and we are different. I find on my journey with grief, I don’t replace the loss, more it becomes part of the fabric I become as a new reorganized whole.
I have lost time by holding back grief. I sometimes grieve this lost time. I have lost those I loved. Through divorce, I have lost the dream of a relationship with my children’s father into the next stages of life. I have lost pets. I have lost my father. I have lost relatives. Early on I lost friends who died of aids in there 20’s. I have lost myself in relationships. I have lost my children who are now almost grown. I find myself today in a fertile place of regrouping. There are no short cuts. It is a journey. It is a remembering. It is a re-weaving. It is organizing into a new story. Not always straight.
Still, in times when I am in the midst of experiencing sadness and loss, I find I am not ‘broken’. Overwhelmed, yet not broken. I am feeling all of it:
Hurt, loss, regret, hopelessness, loneliness, anger, and frustration. Some how I know I will make it through. I guess age has something to do with this knowledge. The experience of being with loss, does not necessarily ease the pain, but is helpful. I have howled with hurt, like a wolf crying for a slain mate. I know the depth of that pain.
My trip to the Center has inspired me. May the angels inspire others on their journey. I am ready to devote a good portion of my life toward the creation of wholeness through this project. I guess I have found a mission and this feels very good! Curious where the road will lead and if I will have the courage to follow…
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Angel Tide
Had the good fortune of having Fredda and Leslie Paul staying with me this weekend.
He is one of my teachers. I go to him when I have deep questions.
Fredda is a patient and loving advisor. He has been through a lot and knows how to take life in stride and still walk forward. This morning we spoke of prayer. We spoke of sadness. We spoke of being alone and being in community. We spoke of how the telephone has robbed of us deeper ways of listening. We spoke of how the elders walk and communicate. Most of all we spoke of how to pray with the tides. And he reminded it is stronger when we pray for others, and not to ask spirit for ourselves directly. He explained that all prayers ARE about us.
I take comfort in his words and in his slow being. If you want to talk with Fredda you have to be on elder time. If your elder teaches at 4 a.m. you wake at 4 a.m. even if this is not your natural way. Teachings are slower than we Americans are accustomed and I find I have to listen between the spaces of what is spoken. Today he spoke of staying on the road. Staying the course Spirit has placed in front of us. I appreciate this advice. When I am hurting, I want to run. He told me the story of how as a kid he was walking with his grandmother and his grandmother said "Grandson I don't want you to take a short cut. I want you to walk with me." Of course, Fredda being young and not fully listening, ran off in front of his Grandmother winding his way in search of a faster way. He ended up falling. His Grandmother did not see him. She went back on the road to where she had last seen him, and she listened. Finally she was guided toward the way he had come. He was sitting on the ground his ankle strained. She gathered ground moss and wrapped his ankle and said: “Grand Son I am going to go ahead. When your ankle feels better please get up and meet me at the clearing.” Fredda waited for half an hour and when his ankle pain eased, he got up and did what his Grand Mother had instructed. She was waiting patiently for him and said, “Grand Son I think you have a teaching story now.” She gazed at him with love and said, "Beware of short-cuts, and stay on the well traveled road."
I asked Fredda, “How do you know when you are on the right road?” He calmly gazed at me and said, “Your heart will tell you. It's best not to chase and hunt. Follow the prayer I spoke with you about this morning and you will know. I can’t tell you everything; some lessons are for you to learn. I am here however as a guide.”
Lately the lessons of heart are many. The Buddhist speaks of suffering. I have trouble with the word 'suffering'. Even when I hurt the most, I have not attached suffering to my hurt. I may feel horrible. I may feel sad, or betrayed, or angry, or stuck, etc. and yet I don't feel as if I'm suffering... Don't exactly know why. My feeling feelings can be over whelming and I can be sucked into them. When I sit and listen deeply it's usually a struggle between not liking what is, having to feel what is and the acceptance of the lack of power I have to change what is. Yes, back to my old friend acceptance. Oil Spills that kill and maim our environment, I personally have no power over. I do have a choice whether I want to continue using oil as a heating agent. The sadness and lack of my power collide and it is this inability to change present 'isness', my powerlessness, which frustrates me. The frustration can override and confuse the original feeling. I can't make it different sometimes sucks! I can't change someones mind. I can't dive to the bottom of the ocean and cap a leaking well.
I can pray for the best outcomes that are in service toward a greater awareness and understanding. As the AA creed states: 'Accept what I have power over and where I am powerless and the wisdom to know the difference.' The only person I can change is me. As my awareness deepens, I understand how this simple understanding has merrit. Feelings will shift eventually...
Fredda said to me today. “Eva I will feel you when are praying and I will pray with you. The prayers however are yours. I can simply stand by.”
I will deepen into this practice for the next month, experimenting with praying during high tide, so my prayers can be amplified through the waters, and as the waters turn, my prayers can merge into the vast ocean.
I will return latter and listen to what answers have arrived on the crest of the returning tide.
He is one of my teachers. I go to him when I have deep questions.
Fredda is a patient and loving advisor. He has been through a lot and knows how to take life in stride and still walk forward. This morning we spoke of prayer. We spoke of sadness. We spoke of being alone and being in community. We spoke of how the telephone has robbed of us deeper ways of listening. We spoke of how the elders walk and communicate. Most of all we spoke of how to pray with the tides. And he reminded it is stronger when we pray for others, and not to ask spirit for ourselves directly. He explained that all prayers ARE about us.
I take comfort in his words and in his slow being. If you want to talk with Fredda you have to be on elder time. If your elder teaches at 4 a.m. you wake at 4 a.m. even if this is not your natural way. Teachings are slower than we Americans are accustomed and I find I have to listen between the spaces of what is spoken. Today he spoke of staying on the road. Staying the course Spirit has placed in front of us. I appreciate this advice. When I am hurting, I want to run. He told me the story of how as a kid he was walking with his grandmother and his grandmother said "Grandson I don't want you to take a short cut. I want you to walk with me." Of course, Fredda being young and not fully listening, ran off in front of his Grandmother winding his way in search of a faster way. He ended up falling. His Grandmother did not see him. She went back on the road to where she had last seen him, and she listened. Finally she was guided toward the way he had come. He was sitting on the ground his ankle strained. She gathered ground moss and wrapped his ankle and said: “Grand Son I am going to go ahead. When your ankle feels better please get up and meet me at the clearing.” Fredda waited for half an hour and when his ankle pain eased, he got up and did what his Grand Mother had instructed. She was waiting patiently for him and said, “Grand Son I think you have a teaching story now.” She gazed at him with love and said, "Beware of short-cuts, and stay on the well traveled road."
I asked Fredda, “How do you know when you are on the right road?” He calmly gazed at me and said, “Your heart will tell you. It's best not to chase and hunt. Follow the prayer I spoke with you about this morning and you will know. I can’t tell you everything; some lessons are for you to learn. I am here however as a guide.”
Lately the lessons of heart are many. The Buddhist speaks of suffering. I have trouble with the word 'suffering'. Even when I hurt the most, I have not attached suffering to my hurt. I may feel horrible. I may feel sad, or betrayed, or angry, or stuck, etc. and yet I don't feel as if I'm suffering... Don't exactly know why. My feeling feelings can be over whelming and I can be sucked into them. When I sit and listen deeply it's usually a struggle between not liking what is, having to feel what is and the acceptance of the lack of power I have to change what is. Yes, back to my old friend acceptance. Oil Spills that kill and maim our environment, I personally have no power over. I do have a choice whether I want to continue using oil as a heating agent. The sadness and lack of my power collide and it is this inability to change present 'isness', my powerlessness, which frustrates me. The frustration can override and confuse the original feeling. I can't make it different sometimes sucks! I can't change someones mind. I can't dive to the bottom of the ocean and cap a leaking well.
I can pray for the best outcomes that are in service toward a greater awareness and understanding. As the AA creed states: 'Accept what I have power over and where I am powerless and the wisdom to know the difference.' The only person I can change is me. As my awareness deepens, I understand how this simple understanding has merrit. Feelings will shift eventually...
Fredda said to me today. “Eva I will feel you when are praying and I will pray with you. The prayers however are yours. I can simply stand by.”
I will deepen into this practice for the next month, experimenting with praying during high tide, so my prayers can be amplified through the waters, and as the waters turn, my prayers can merge into the vast ocean.
I will return latter and listen to what answers have arrived on the crest of the returning tide.
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Angel Longing
Hafiz says:
Even
After
All this time
The sun never says to Earth,
"You owe Me."
Look what happens with a love like that,
It lights the
Whole
Sky
I say:
This is how I long to love.
Not with apology.
or trade offs.
I long to love with gifts nurtured and nourished from the limitless elongated self.
I long to love,
The way the sun kisses the Earth with light.
The way the earth recieves this spectral caress and
Gifts it back to the sun with flowers.
This is how I long
to love...
Even
After
All this time
The sun never says to Earth,
"You owe Me."
Look what happens with a love like that,
It lights the
Whole
Sky
I say:
This is how I long to love.
Not with apology.
or trade offs.
I long to love with gifts nurtured and nourished from the limitless elongated self.
I long to love,
The way the sun kisses the Earth with light.
The way the earth recieves this spectral caress and
Gifts it back to the sun with flowers.
This is how I long
to love...
Friday, May 21, 2010
Angel Loss/ Angel Availability
Recently I was given a gift, a ticket to travel to my-self. The travel opportunity came through an encounter with another and the natural connection we shared. Our willing and mutual openness allowed our journey to begin. Our connection allowed a permission to explore places in myself that have been in shadow and closed for awhile.
As the road weaved in, and bumps emerged, I once again discovered, when I am triggered by my lover; it is easier to stay in the defended self, who is fueled by old hurts and beliefs, rather than venture into vulnerable un-knowingness. When I can stay present and open undefended toward the uncomfortable and unpleasant feelings that rise inside, great opportunity waits, and I am carried into the unknown. It is here the alchemy of change grows as gold. If, instead I choose to stay vulnerable to longing for or wanting the other, rather than dealing with what is emotionally present at the moment, and choose to hide behind old defenses, ignited by old insecurities; this posture only leads to maintaining an old self and will not release me from the old bondage of closing doors. If I can hold the tension and move into the unknowable void, I become receptive! After all, how can I receive in the midst of so much filtering? Is it more devastating to hold onto old beliefs or release into the unknown? And who will I be without feeding the old perceptions? And how do I really know what I want if I am still seeing and holding onto the lenses of the old beliefs I have adopted as truth?
I found myself engaged in the reality of dealing with loss at the onset of a relationship that I thought was leading toward an exploration into romantic physical connection. The relationship was too quickly re-negotiated into friendship. Nothing wrong with friendship, however the longing for more intimate connection was clearly ignited and there were many feelings to face. I couldn’t move forward or back. I was called to sit in the feeling awareness the moment provided: in sadness, grief, and the pain of loss. I was in overwhelm and not understanding how I was going to navigate through this emotionally heightened terrain. I find stillness in these cases the best action and mindless T.V.
Here's my discovery, when we hide something from another we are in relationship with because of our fear of exposure, ironically we design our reality through what we are keeping secret. There are always good reasons to hide: shame, embarrassment, lack, not good enough, not worthy, undeserving, or, ‘if the person sees this what will they think’, the old Marx brothers ‘who would want to be a member of my team’… attitude. We essentially are feeding what we are hiding. By 'covering' we actually feed the feeling, the thought, the desire, which we are unwilling to bring to light. So the perceived protective feeling is fed by protecting the old feelings. This old material that we are protecting so beautifully, also becomes the filter through which we assess our present situation. The very feeling we do not want to deal with, is what we are forming our reality with! We are hiding the secret that hurts us most, which of course we have adopted as great truth or justification. Sometimes, we order our reality in order to keep feeding the un-wanted belief or feeling. We turn ourselves inside out and become what we think, intuit, and feel the other may want, to protect the other from knowing us, which further distracts us from the very thing we are unwilling to deal with. Or we may choose a partner who has parallel fears/beliefs. Now the game becomes even more interesting. The unspoken contract here is, ‘I’ll allow you to project onto me your hurts and I’ll adopt them as my own so neither of us will have to deal with truth’ and experience vulnerability. We unconsciously form around what 'shouldn't be' and what the 'other' wants, and the disowned pieces of self remain hidden behind the projections ... a complicated and very engaging game that only gets more convoluted as it plays out. We go to great lengths of not dealing with what is. We are so tricky. When we finally have the courage to see our own projection or the hidden inadequacy or insecurity, or owned projections of the other, we say hello to ourselves. It is my experience through my own journey and witnessing the unveilings of those I work with, that we bury and buy so much that we really don't want. Because we think that is the right thing to do or we’ll be liked, or we’ll be safe, etc.
Leonard Cohen says:
"I know I said I’d meet you, I'd meet you at the store, but I can't buy it, baby. I can't buy it anymore..."
The most amazing thing is to look at what we've bought.
All of it...and have the courage to say, this is what I thought was mine, this is what I’ve adopted as mine, and this is what I am willing to leave and this is what I am willing to hold onto….
Some of the questions I ask myself when I’m triggered and journeying through the muck of self un-ravel, which takes me into the delicious land of void, are:
What emotions and feelings am I screaming thru, i.e. what is really mine? What are the fears associated with the screaming?
How old is the one inside that has been triggered? What is not being met?
What am I afraid to admit?
(This is what is hardest to give voice to)
What is my passion?
What are the beliefs that have served in the past that no longer serve and whom was I serving with the old belief in the first place?
How are these beliefs fed?
What would I like to explore that I haven't yet?
What is still in place and keeping me from that exploration?
What are the secrets I have been keeping from myself out of fear or justification? Am I willing to step into the light? How is fear protecting me? What walls have I built around false beliefs that will come tumbling down if I no longer feed them!
What I am discovering is, when I have the courage, and allow myself transport out of my comfort zone with another, risking openness, instead of hiding, I become more available to myself.
This is the gift that relationship brings.
Healing and Availability...(to self, to other, and to the
relationship)
I am grateful for the grace that has come my way through connection with another.
This exploration has allowed a layer of crust to come off my heart. Relationship is a journey of heart. My heart is more available to proceed unguarded and open with those I choose to connect with in the future. And this is a gift!
As the road weaved in, and bumps emerged, I once again discovered, when I am triggered by my lover; it is easier to stay in the defended self, who is fueled by old hurts and beliefs, rather than venture into vulnerable un-knowingness. When I can stay present and open undefended toward the uncomfortable and unpleasant feelings that rise inside, great opportunity waits, and I am carried into the unknown. It is here the alchemy of change grows as gold. If, instead I choose to stay vulnerable to longing for or wanting the other, rather than dealing with what is emotionally present at the moment, and choose to hide behind old defenses, ignited by old insecurities; this posture only leads to maintaining an old self and will not release me from the old bondage of closing doors. If I can hold the tension and move into the unknowable void, I become receptive! After all, how can I receive in the midst of so much filtering? Is it more devastating to hold onto old beliefs or release into the unknown? And who will I be without feeding the old perceptions? And how do I really know what I want if I am still seeing and holding onto the lenses of the old beliefs I have adopted as truth?
I found myself engaged in the reality of dealing with loss at the onset of a relationship that I thought was leading toward an exploration into romantic physical connection. The relationship was too quickly re-negotiated into friendship. Nothing wrong with friendship, however the longing for more intimate connection was clearly ignited and there were many feelings to face. I couldn’t move forward or back. I was called to sit in the feeling awareness the moment provided: in sadness, grief, and the pain of loss. I was in overwhelm and not understanding how I was going to navigate through this emotionally heightened terrain. I find stillness in these cases the best action and mindless T.V.
Here's my discovery, when we hide something from another we are in relationship with because of our fear of exposure, ironically we design our reality through what we are keeping secret. There are always good reasons to hide: shame, embarrassment, lack, not good enough, not worthy, undeserving, or, ‘if the person sees this what will they think’, the old Marx brothers ‘who would want to be a member of my team’… attitude. We essentially are feeding what we are hiding. By 'covering' we actually feed the feeling, the thought, the desire, which we are unwilling to bring to light. So the perceived protective feeling is fed by protecting the old feelings. This old material that we are protecting so beautifully, also becomes the filter through which we assess our present situation. The very feeling we do not want to deal with, is what we are forming our reality with! We are hiding the secret that hurts us most, which of course we have adopted as great truth or justification. Sometimes, we order our reality in order to keep feeding the un-wanted belief or feeling. We turn ourselves inside out and become what we think, intuit, and feel the other may want, to protect the other from knowing us, which further distracts us from the very thing we are unwilling to deal with. Or we may choose a partner who has parallel fears/beliefs. Now the game becomes even more interesting. The unspoken contract here is, ‘I’ll allow you to project onto me your hurts and I’ll adopt them as my own so neither of us will have to deal with truth’ and experience vulnerability. We unconsciously form around what 'shouldn't be' and what the 'other' wants, and the disowned pieces of self remain hidden behind the projections ... a complicated and very engaging game that only gets more convoluted as it plays out. We go to great lengths of not dealing with what is. We are so tricky. When we finally have the courage to see our own projection or the hidden inadequacy or insecurity, or owned projections of the other, we say hello to ourselves. It is my experience through my own journey and witnessing the unveilings of those I work with, that we bury and buy so much that we really don't want. Because we think that is the right thing to do or we’ll be liked, or we’ll be safe, etc.
Leonard Cohen says:
"I know I said I’d meet you, I'd meet you at the store, but I can't buy it, baby. I can't buy it anymore..."
The most amazing thing is to look at what we've bought.
All of it...and have the courage to say, this is what I thought was mine, this is what I’ve adopted as mine, and this is what I am willing to leave and this is what I am willing to hold onto….
Some of the questions I ask myself when I’m triggered and journeying through the muck of self un-ravel, which takes me into the delicious land of void, are:
What emotions and feelings am I screaming thru, i.e. what is really mine? What are the fears associated with the screaming?
How old is the one inside that has been triggered? What is not being met?
What am I afraid to admit?
(This is what is hardest to give voice to)
What is my passion?
What are the beliefs that have served in the past that no longer serve and whom was I serving with the old belief in the first place?
How are these beliefs fed?
What would I like to explore that I haven't yet?
What is still in place and keeping me from that exploration?
What are the secrets I have been keeping from myself out of fear or justification? Am I willing to step into the light? How is fear protecting me? What walls have I built around false beliefs that will come tumbling down if I no longer feed them!
What I am discovering is, when I have the courage, and allow myself transport out of my comfort zone with another, risking openness, instead of hiding, I become more available to myself.
This is the gift that relationship brings.
Healing and Availability...(to self, to other, and to the
relationship)
I am grateful for the grace that has come my way through connection with another.
This exploration has allowed a layer of crust to come off my heart. Relationship is a journey of heart. My heart is more available to proceed unguarded and open with those I choose to connect with in the future. And this is a gift!
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Angel Earth Mothering...
Today is mother's day.
Sent Mom Purple Iris and Yellow Lilly's...gifts from one mother to another..
It's chilly here in Maine this a.m.
Slow soaking rain last night.
Ma Ma Earth all moist and lovely, glistening in filtered light.
I holding spade and shovel;
Dig,
Weed,
And prune my way into her belly.
The smell of musky dewed earth scent of spring on my fingers.
The song of birds
honoring my garden prattle with song..
as I rake.
as I love.
as I hoe.
as I play with her...
Thanking her the way I can. (with attention)
Sweet Earth.
Sweet Gaia.
Your gifts so many.
Happy Mothers Day.
Sent Mom Purple Iris and Yellow Lilly's...gifts from one mother to another..
It's chilly here in Maine this a.m.
Slow soaking rain last night.
Ma Ma Earth all moist and lovely, glistening in filtered light.
I holding spade and shovel;
Dig,
Weed,
And prune my way into her belly.
The smell of musky dewed earth scent of spring on my fingers.
The song of birds
honoring my garden prattle with song..
as I rake.
as I love.
as I hoe.
as I play with her...
Thanking her the way I can. (with attention)
Sweet Earth.
Sweet Gaia.
Your gifts so many.
Happy Mothers Day.
Saturday, May 8, 2010
New Angel
Why am I angry about my friend who suffered for 16 or 17 months with tumors growing in his brain dying yesterday?
He is released.
And his loving partner, who cared for him, and who has been tempered and honed through this daunting and overwhelming experience in unimaginable ways, is also released. Why is anger the overwhelming emotion here?
I am angry at the thought of them not having more time together.
I am angry for myself at the realization of all the time I have wasted in un-loving.
I am angry at spirit for taking the good ones.
I am angry that I will have to grieve and experience loss yet once again…
I feel cracked open. This is grace.
For me grief is the hardest emotion.
Can do anger.
Can do sadness.
Can do joy.
Can do happy.
Can do grateful...
I defend against grief. My belief is there is so much to grieve these days.
And if I truly felt and experienced all we do that insights loss and add personal loss to the mix, i.e. the loss of relationships changing, friends, family and pets dying…well I’d melt away into…. Something.
My hope is I can grieve well so the mistakes I have made by avoiding or holding my grief at bay, will not be reconstituted into the world.
It is my experience shock can shake us into new awareness.
If we are lucky enough not to defend against the current, the wave of awe or awe-full, opportunity awaits.
Covered places become available.
We have a moment to arrange differently.
The face that was hidden behind the behind of learned response or favored emotion emerges thru the shadow.
The gift of essential honesty becomes available, feeling like compressed light thru a pinhole.
The filtering emotion lies down like a sword placed at a battle not worth fighting...
Now, choice beyond belief, can be seen.
I sit with this.
Today I welcome a new angel into the world.
I dreamt of my friend, who dyed yesterday, last night.
His face was on a large poster for the world to see.
In the large photograph his eyes shown.
And I heard him whisper... tell M. I'm Ok and I love her.
In the end isn't that what we all want to know...
That we're OK and that we love, are loved, and have loved...
He is released.
And his loving partner, who cared for him, and who has been tempered and honed through this daunting and overwhelming experience in unimaginable ways, is also released. Why is anger the overwhelming emotion here?
I am angry at the thought of them not having more time together.
I am angry for myself at the realization of all the time I have wasted in un-loving.
I am angry at spirit for taking the good ones.
I am angry that I will have to grieve and experience loss yet once again…
I feel cracked open. This is grace.
For me grief is the hardest emotion.
Can do anger.
Can do sadness.
Can do joy.
Can do happy.
Can do grateful...
I defend against grief. My belief is there is so much to grieve these days.
And if I truly felt and experienced all we do that insights loss and add personal loss to the mix, i.e. the loss of relationships changing, friends, family and pets dying…well I’d melt away into…. Something.
My hope is I can grieve well so the mistakes I have made by avoiding or holding my grief at bay, will not be reconstituted into the world.
It is my experience shock can shake us into new awareness.
If we are lucky enough not to defend against the current, the wave of awe or awe-full, opportunity awaits.
Covered places become available.
We have a moment to arrange differently.
The face that was hidden behind the behind of learned response or favored emotion emerges thru the shadow.
The gift of essential honesty becomes available, feeling like compressed light thru a pinhole.
The filtering emotion lies down like a sword placed at a battle not worth fighting...
Now, choice beyond belief, can be seen.
I sit with this.
Today I welcome a new angel into the world.
I dreamt of my friend, who dyed yesterday, last night.
His face was on a large poster for the world to see.
In the large photograph his eyes shown.
And I heard him whisper... tell M. I'm Ok and I love her.
In the end isn't that what we all want to know...
That we're OK and that we love, are loved, and have loved...
Friday, May 7, 2010
Angel's Incarnating/Friends departing...
There is this breath,
This place in between and moving toward dream
This sigh Before creation.
I have had the privilege of visiting two friends in Hospice this week.
I had the honor of observing their labored rhythmic to un-rhythmic open mouthed breathing.
I remember watching babies sleep in much the same way.
I am struck by the similarity of the comings and goings of breath.
Spirit incarnating into the body and spirit leaving the body born from the same beat.
The word for spirit and breath in Hebrew is Ruach.
I also think Ruach is used to describe wind.
The sound of breathing and the cadance of breathing is so primal. When my children were first born and many days after, I would lay awake holding space for their paper thin spirits fully embodying their small forms. I would know when something was not quite right by listening to their breating...
It is the same with my friends' families who sit listening and watching breath.
Each new rhythm is the harbinger of a new stage of release...
I am sitting in vigil with breath once again as I hold my dying friends' hands.
I am in wonderment at the tenacity, the fragileness the beauty the gift we have been given, this life. I am in awe of the life fire their breaths have fanned...
How can we treat each other in ways that are unthinkable knowing our time is so short amongst the beauty of trees.
I could go on and on...and I won't this a.m.
This place in between and moving toward dream
This sigh Before creation.
I have had the privilege of visiting two friends in Hospice this week.
I had the honor of observing their labored rhythmic to un-rhythmic open mouthed breathing.
I remember watching babies sleep in much the same way.
I am struck by the similarity of the comings and goings of breath.
Spirit incarnating into the body and spirit leaving the body born from the same beat.
The word for spirit and breath in Hebrew is Ruach.
I also think Ruach is used to describe wind.
The sound of breathing and the cadance of breathing is so primal. When my children were first born and many days after, I would lay awake holding space for their paper thin spirits fully embodying their small forms. I would know when something was not quite right by listening to their breating...
It is the same with my friends' families who sit listening and watching breath.
Each new rhythm is the harbinger of a new stage of release...
I am sitting in vigil with breath once again as I hold my dying friends' hands.
I am in wonderment at the tenacity, the fragileness the beauty the gift we have been given, this life. I am in awe of the life fire their breaths have fanned...
How can we treat each other in ways that are unthinkable knowing our time is so short amongst the beauty of trees.
I could go on and on...and I won't this a.m.
Sunday, May 2, 2010
Angel Tree'ed
Today I begin placing angels on grid titled 'Tree'...May 2nd
I am in slight procrastination mode, it's Spring here in Maine. I can't remember a lusher or sweeter one. Energetically I am bursting like the buds that play their seductive music around me... I am having trouble containing all this energy. I channel these elated bursts in the melody of bike rides and intoxicating walks and encounters with friends... what better way to step into creating within an image of the tree of life than to be dancing in life within the domain of earth music. My goal for today is have grid and angels meet. May the design placed on these angel-backs fly well...may this grid be a prayer and thank you to the beauty and gifts of life. Why we spend so much time working against what is 'good' in and surrounding us is intriguing. Today I honor the exquisite magic in a drop of rain or the power and message carried in a wild wind or the questions the coming of peas bring in the garden or the grace touched with a gentle hand. It is in this undefinable place of open heart, I choose to stand while placing angel to paper and paint to pattern.
I am in slight procrastination mode, it's Spring here in Maine. I can't remember a lusher or sweeter one. Energetically I am bursting like the buds that play their seductive music around me... I am having trouble containing all this energy. I channel these elated bursts in the melody of bike rides and intoxicating walks and encounters with friends... what better way to step into creating within an image of the tree of life than to be dancing in life within the domain of earth music. My goal for today is have grid and angels meet. May the design placed on these angel-backs fly well...may this grid be a prayer and thank you to the beauty and gifts of life. Why we spend so much time working against what is 'good' in and surrounding us is intriguing. Today I honor the exquisite magic in a drop of rain or the power and message carried in a wild wind or the questions the coming of peas bring in the garden or the grace touched with a gentle hand. It is in this undefinable place of open heart, I choose to stand while placing angel to paper and paint to pattern.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Angeldom
The first flight of angels is complete. This is a miracle!!
My sister and I will be hanging all the angels this weekend.
My sister and I have not worked on project together since we were small. Perhaps the angels have called her to come and help. She works as a producer for a well known artist in NYC. She has a high pressured job, and yet she has chosen to come to Maine and help me. My sister understands how to bring a project to closure.
Today I will be cutting 108 pieces of wood for mounting the angels on the wall and figuring out which wall the flight will rest on. Once the 'Flight of Compassion' is installed, I'll have more of an understanding of the mission of these winged ones. Will the angels be released separately or will they remain as part of the community they were created in? Stay tuned.....
'You've been Angeled'.
what is your's to do?
My sister and I will be hanging all the angels this weekend.
My sister and I have not worked on project together since we were small. Perhaps the angels have called her to come and help. She works as a producer for a well known artist in NYC. She has a high pressured job, and yet she has chosen to come to Maine and help me. My sister understands how to bring a project to closure.
Today I will be cutting 108 pieces of wood for mounting the angels on the wall and figuring out which wall the flight will rest on. Once the 'Flight of Compassion' is installed, I'll have more of an understanding of the mission of these winged ones. Will the angels be released separately or will they remain as part of the community they were created in? Stay tuned.....
'You've been Angeled'.
what is your's to do?
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Angel Pod
Full moon soon. Tonight was glorious. Went out to dinner with friends. We shared a bottle of delicious red wine, good food and good conversation. I've been caving for too long,(it is winter) and coming out into the open was lovely.
We spoke of the giving group. The idea: a pod of people comeing together to discuss giving a donation of $5 each a month. The group will choose the charity for the month and then donate the whole amount to the chosen cause. Simple. The whole idea is to begin a charitable gifting group. My hope is we will choose to gift locally. Coming together and doing more than what can be done alone has always interested me. The motivation for this group is to become an independent cohesive unit of giving, and to practice active compassion. That's it. How it manifests or grows is up to the group.
The moon waxes and now I begin to wane... satiated and satisfied by the day, the wine and the food, sleep creeps in. Filled with gratitude for those presently in my life, I begin to drift into the land of dreams. My heart aches for those around me in my community or the world who are not in ease. And as sleep nears a prayer is whispered, may those who are hurting find their way. May those who suffer find comfort. May those in misery be held.
The mystery of life is daunting.
We spoke of the giving group. The idea: a pod of people comeing together to discuss giving a donation of $5 each a month. The group will choose the charity for the month and then donate the whole amount to the chosen cause. Simple. The whole idea is to begin a charitable gifting group. My hope is we will choose to gift locally. Coming together and doing more than what can be done alone has always interested me. The motivation for this group is to become an independent cohesive unit of giving, and to practice active compassion. That's it. How it manifests or grows is up to the group.
The moon waxes and now I begin to wane... satiated and satisfied by the day, the wine and the food, sleep creeps in. Filled with gratitude for those presently in my life, I begin to drift into the land of dreams. My heart aches for those around me in my community or the world who are not in ease. And as sleep nears a prayer is whispered, may those who are hurting find their way. May those who suffer find comfort. May those in misery be held.
The mystery of life is daunting.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Angel Relief
Angel Relief
Disasters provide an opportunity for us to remember our oneness. We remember the heart of who we are. Something cracks inside us and for a moment, and we are one family. Brothers and sisters in need, we see each other and we hear the screams of help and we touch. The world has become so small. Technology affords us a way to see, hear, sense and we reach out. We want to touch because we have to. This is our nature. We help our tribe, we become one village, focused, and engaged with a song of unity in our hearts.
I have been moved by the out-pouring of love in the form of $ and resource that we Americans and the world can bestow on another country when needed. My heart ached when I saw the devastation the Earth Quake caused in Haiti. Charity’s and organizations like candy were there for the picking and I like many gave scattering my donation as seeds amongst three charities that I resonated with. I had a delightful time choosing. I was astounded by how many organizations have ‘helping’ as their mission. There also were so many corporations who stepped up and helped. Impressive to say the least!
I have also been touched by the power of mother earth and what she is capable of once again.
Perhaps in her own way she was sending a message. This may be her wake up call to us.
Yep, Mama is still in charge.
The world becomes smaller and smaller. With a flick of a finger we can organize millions of people. Those with electronic know how can install systems in a flash that allow aid workers, countries and people to come together via a phone. We can reach a loved one thru a database.
We organize airports and donate planes. Bulldozers and other rescue and medical equipment are flown in within hours. The amount of people with skills to help within a minutes is remarkable!
It took Mama Earth to shake us up. For the truth is Haiti has been crying a long time. The great conundrum is though economically pour, her soul is rich beyond measure. The art and music coming from Haiti is vibrant!
I like to look at the big picture. I can’t help it. It’s my nature. Crisis sharpens us. I guess my question is: Why can’t we find the sharpness we have in crises, when problem solving around issues that are dogging us here at home? (‘Affordable HealthCare For All’ for instance.) Over the past few years we have learned, we know how to solve problems. We’re good at it. I see, like myself, we have a kind of attention deficit disorder. We tend to loose our focus. We are great the moment the alarm is sounded. We feel alive. Threats are a daily treat or ‘Tweet’. My other question is: What happens in Haiti a year form now? We still haven’t finished cleaning up after Katrina. We know how to deliver aid effectively within minutes. Haiti once again reminded us how good we are at this. Millions of dollars are found at a moments notice! Amazing. Many of us like to help. How can we channel this energy more effectively at home? We know we can find money. (Saving banks has shown us this…) Red Alert America, children are hungry, and people are dying because they cannot afford to seek medical attention!! Alarm. Alarm. Our schools need funding…. !!! Perhaps if we keep the threat out of airports and in our cities and towns we could shine like the stars we are! A simple thought.
Disasters provide an opportunity for us to remember our oneness. We remember the heart of who we are. Something cracks inside us and for a moment, and we are one family. Brothers and sisters in need, we see each other and we hear the screams of help and we touch. The world has become so small. Technology affords us a way to see, hear, sense and we reach out. We want to touch because we have to. This is our nature. We help our tribe, we become one village, focused, and engaged with a song of unity in our hearts.
I have been moved by the out-pouring of love in the form of $ and resource that we Americans and the world can bestow on another country when needed. My heart ached when I saw the devastation the Earth Quake caused in Haiti. Charity’s and organizations like candy were there for the picking and I like many gave scattering my donation as seeds amongst three charities that I resonated with. I had a delightful time choosing. I was astounded by how many organizations have ‘helping’ as their mission. There also were so many corporations who stepped up and helped. Impressive to say the least!
I have also been touched by the power of mother earth and what she is capable of once again.
Perhaps in her own way she was sending a message. This may be her wake up call to us.
Yep, Mama is still in charge.
The world becomes smaller and smaller. With a flick of a finger we can organize millions of people. Those with electronic know how can install systems in a flash that allow aid workers, countries and people to come together via a phone. We can reach a loved one thru a database.
We organize airports and donate planes. Bulldozers and other rescue and medical equipment are flown in within hours. The amount of people with skills to help within a minutes is remarkable!
It took Mama Earth to shake us up. For the truth is Haiti has been crying a long time. The great conundrum is though economically pour, her soul is rich beyond measure. The art and music coming from Haiti is vibrant!
I like to look at the big picture. I can’t help it. It’s my nature. Crisis sharpens us. I guess my question is: Why can’t we find the sharpness we have in crises, when problem solving around issues that are dogging us here at home? (‘Affordable HealthCare For All’ for instance.) Over the past few years we have learned, we know how to solve problems. We’re good at it. I see, like myself, we have a kind of attention deficit disorder. We tend to loose our focus. We are great the moment the alarm is sounded. We feel alive. Threats are a daily treat or ‘Tweet’. My other question is: What happens in Haiti a year form now? We still haven’t finished cleaning up after Katrina. We know how to deliver aid effectively within minutes. Haiti once again reminded us how good we are at this. Millions of dollars are found at a moments notice! Amazing. Many of us like to help. How can we channel this energy more effectively at home? We know we can find money. (Saving banks has shown us this…) Red Alert America, children are hungry, and people are dying because they cannot afford to seek medical attention!! Alarm. Alarm. Our schools need funding…. !!! Perhaps if we keep the threat out of airports and in our cities and towns we could shine like the stars we are! A simple thought.
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